The Accidental Dog Mom

Celebrating One Year of Blogging!

I am so elated at this moment to celebrate my one year of Blogging; to say that I am cherry and merry just does not do enough justice to my feelings! I remember, for the longest time I wanted to start my own blog to share my life experiences, and, the importance of dogs in my life. But somehow, my actions were always blocked by an invisible anxiety. Had it not been for my friend & business partner, who learnt about my passion and encouraged me to act on it, I wouldn’t be having a toast of completing this wonderful one year of Blogging.

Today, as I am typing this, at one side I feel nothing has changed. But on the other hand, when I reflect on the past year, everything has changed; except for Junior and his unconditional love. Allow me share my experience of Blogging in the past year.

It started with, I was sitting in my partner’s office having a light hearted chat with him, where I mentioned about my dream to start a blog. He lent an ear and then opened his browser, booked a domain, made me a profile on WordPress and told me to get started. I was flabbergasted. But that maneuver gave me a push, and, finally made me work on my dream. Initially, I was scared as I didn’t know how to work on WordPress and honestly, I didn’t even know where to begin with or which topic to start off with first. Nevertheless, my friend helped me out in that as well.

Isn’t it staggering, this past year changed everyone’s lives! The pandemic ruined so many beings than built a living. Many breathed their last, numerous lost their jobs and houses, the depression rates are at all-time high. And now, all of us are limping back to normality. Whereas, for me, it was a good opportunity to build my blog and share my raw experiences with all of you. I also took a new turn in my career and started a new business. Junior fell seriously ill and recovered. I got divorced. I also relocated. Woah! So many escapades and yet, here I am; sitting with my cup of tea and Junior by my side. So many changes, yet somethings never change.

Blogging has helped me to share my piece of ups and downs without being judged and without any fear. I am so glad I got at it; or else my fear would have always kept me away from this wonderful experience to all intents and purposes of openly being who I am.

In true words, this is honestly a celebration as I have received a lot of feedback from friends and followers telling me how some of my posts have inspired them in their personal lives and how they look forward to read more every Thursday. Nothing better than being a tribute in uplifting someone’s soul, right!

Besides personal life, I also got a lot of insight about dogs wellbeing which time and again I anticipated in sharing here. It wasn’t that I always had something to write. There were days when I struggled with topics to share. Into the bargain, I have even been rebuked by my friend for not sharing much about dogs sometimes. Nonetheless, I always had a comeback in a way that, “I am a dog mom, I have a personal life as well. I can always share that side of my life. And for all that we know, Casper and Junior have always been my strong pillars.”

It has been overwhelming to read comments, appreciation and even criticism. All this only pushes me to be as authentic, and, raw as I am, and deliver useful content to help anyone out there. I have also shared my other hobbies of cooking and painting which too received a good response. Whereas that’s just a part of me, I will always want to be known as a proud Dog Mom.

Some of the beautiful comments I have received.

I would like to thank each and every one of you for being a part of my journey, for encouraging me and for your continuous support. It gives me immense pleasure to share this gratitude with all you people and I am blessed to have a very supporting family and microscopic but profuse friend circle who have always been a brawny support system in my life. I will continue sharing rightful and veritable posts and your sustained assistance is highly appreciated. Thank You!!!

Sunday, animals day 😁

Reviewing Dog Toys

Over the years, I have a bought a lot of toys for Casper and Junior. Unfortunately, I had to donate everything when Casper passed away, so I cannot show them or review them for you. Although, Casper would predominantly only play with Tennis Balls, and, at times, with a tug-of-war rope with Junior, later I again bought a lot of toys for Junior. So today I have decided to give an insight of what toys Junior plays with, which are worth the money, and, which are absolutely useless.

Let me start with brain stimulating or treat puzzle toys:

Paw Puzzle Toy:

As you can see in the video above, Junior still doesn’t understand this quite as much. And in just a few minutes, he gets bored and leaves it. This toy is expensive, and, really not that worth the money. Personally, I do not recommend this.

I actually have a free and better alternate for this toy. Make your dog smell some kibble or treats and then keep your dog in a room while you hide the kibble or treats in the house. Let your dog out and command him to search. This way, he is physically and mentally active and also will spend a good 30 minutes searching for the treats.

Wobble Toy:

While you can see in the video, Junior has chewed on the toy rather than making an effort to remove the kibble. This toy is still better than the above one, but one of the biggest con is that if you do not have carpet at home, then you will have to keep getting up again and again to remove this from below the couch or dining table. Again, it is expensive and not worth the money. Another alternate for this toy is to get a snack rubber ball where your dog will run, and also be rewarded with treats falling out of it.

Indoor toys:

Kong Ball:

I highly recommend this. Woefully, I cannot remove a video of this as Junior is on medicated food due to Pancreatitis and this toy needs a binding agent like curd or peanut butter (which I cannot feed Junior just yet) to lick on or to keep the kibble or treats from falling out. I propose you put in some kibble, then add curd or peanut butter (if your dog is not allergic to it), then add kibble and curd or peanut butter again till it’s full and freeze it. Once frozen, you can give your dog and he/she will relish it and also be occupied for a long time. Since Kong Balls are expensive, another proxy for this is to take a cucumber, remove all the seeds and make it hollow from the center and fill it with kibble/treats and curd/peanut butter, freeze it and then give it to your dog.

Suction Tug – Of – War Toy:

This is a really good toy. A friend gifted this to Junior. It is highly priced. But the problem as you can see is, the suction doesn’t stay for long as shown in the advertisements. You can even place some kibble or treats in the ball to attract your dog towards this toy. But as I said, the suction cup is not effective.

Tug – Of – War Rope:

Something else I would recommend. But as you can see, if you have only one dog, then you personally will have to be a participant in this. Junior has always been a fan of playing Tug-of-War as he would play this all the time with Casper. Post Casper’s passing, I became his partner for the same. We play every morning for 10 minutes. This helps me spend less time on my phone and little more on my physical activity. Make sure your dog doesn’t get too excited while playing as that will lead to palpitations and an over exerted dog. Also, as you can see in the video, Junior has chewed up on the handle, so keep an eye that your dog doesn’t swallow it. This is a wallet friendly toy and durable.

Outdoor and Indoor Toys:

Squeaky Pink Crocodile:

Absolutely durable, inexpensive, safe and cute. I just throw this toy like a ball and Junior brings it to me for more. Besides playing, Junior loves sleeping with it as well. Just remove 10 minutes of your day and play indoors or outdoors with this.

Squeaky Ball:

This is Junior’s by far the most favorite toy. It is a little worn out, that is because this was the first toy I bought for Junior after Casper’s heavenly adobe. It’s been 4.5 years since Junior is playing with it and still doesn’t want to part ways with. Absolutely affordable and I will continue using this by stitching it from where it is torn.

Bonus: Your slippers. Ha ha ha ha ha! I do not recommend this, but this has been a universal toy for all dogs, big or small, any breed. Dogs love playing with our slipper, every house has it, and, no special time required to keep them engaged. They will play with it whenever and wherever.

I hope all the above was helpful and I could help you’ll in saving some bucks. I always get carried away by seeing fancy pictures of dogs toys and buy them, but not all are worth it and value for money. Many are even dangerous as they break or tear and dogs tend to choke on the broken or torn pieces. Be mindful, attentive and smart for your dog’s health.

He is looking at something 🤔

My Son-shine!

Codependency

Legitimately, there are so many new words I heard and learnt in the past 4 years that it is unbelievable how our generation and the younger generation has complicated, wasted and made the beautiful term “LOVE” meaningless. Besides ghosting, gaslighting, narcissist, talking stage, etc., codependency is just another word that I learnt.

Now what is codependency? In simple words, it means where a person is needy, or dependent upon another person. Basically, clingy. In a relationship, one person is so addicted to the other, that their life doesn’t function normally without the presence of the other person. In a crux, it is actually an unhealthy relationship.

But here, I mainly want to talk about codependent dogs. Yes, I learnt this word after interacting with a Vet. And to understand it better, I read through some articles on the internet and realized this has become very common these days in a relationship.

I had recently gone to the Vet as we are in the process of changing Junior’s medicated food to normal food. He relatively had less patients that day and was free to talk to me. He shared some not so surprising facts with me about the 2 major issues dogs faced in the lockdown – anxiety and obesity.

Obesity was because of the restrictions during the lockdown and the fear of coming in contact with the virus if humans walked their dogs in public. So most of the dog parents over fed their dogs with treats and crumbs to keep them entertained or not to disturb them when they were on a work call or in short, when they were working from home.

The other problem was, anxiety that the dogs faced was because outdoor activities were limited, socializing was a strict no and every walk was atleast 6 feet away from any kind of interaction with other dogs and humans. Because of the pandemic, the humans stayed home 24/7, which means, it was a party for the dogs. For them, there is nothing better than being with their humans’ day and night for months together. Unfortunately, this in due course resulted to codependency. The dogs became completely reliant on their humans for every minute of their day.

You probably would think, “how cute, my dog follows me everywhere. Aww, he/she loves me so much.” But in reality, your dog has forgotten to grasp the concept of having space, and their dependency could be making them a nervous wreck. They have now become so afraid when you leave the house or are not there at home that they become ecstatic when you come home. Their tails are wagging frantically, they start jumping on you and sometimes, even the house is a mess.

For most of us this is a normal behavior, irrespective of the pandemic. But the difference is, now it has become difficult for the dog to be on their own after we have spent months with them and started suffering from anxiety.

So, how do you know the difference between cuteness and codependency? Here are some signs to check in your dog:

Barking more than normal
Jumping a lot
Howling
Peeing on the floor
Destroying things at home
Following you from room to room
Nipping on people who gets close to them
Over possessive about their humans
Head bobbing
Become a little aggressive
Eats only after you feed them

These are some signs to look for. If you can relate to some or all of the above, then your dog is completely dependent on you and may develop anxiety if not corrected soon.

When I had relocated to a new apartment, Junior faced codependency for a few days as the place was new. But since I knew it was a temporary phase till he got adjusted, I just let him be. But codependency can turn into a permanent problem for the dogs with the little lives that they have.

Allow me to share some suggestions/tips to help your dog and you through it. But first, let me once again bring light to the fact that their clinginess may look cute, but being responsible dog parents, we have to help them be mentally independent just like how we would for human kids. Here are some tips when they behave to gummy:

Pet them less
Ignore them when they are wanting too much attention
Make sure they sleep or have plenty of things to do when you leave home
Be strict on their sleeping time
Slowly and steadily start taking them to dog parks and socialize with other dogs (now that the lockdowns have eased all over the world)
Even when you are home, send them to their favourite space as time out. Basically, less dog-parent interaction
Burn their energy
Stimulate their mind with mental games

Let me inform you, sometimes, the way one partner is dependent on the other partner, even humans can be dependent on their dogs. Like some humans cannot sleep without their dog by their side, or some call the day care 10 times to know how their dog is doing, many won’t go on holidays or dates without their dogs, and even if they do, their only topic to talk about is their dog! Either way, codependency is not healthy. For the betterment of everyone living under one roof and the dog, start being honest with yourself. Learn to have a life of your own and also help your dog become healthy mentally.

Cook, Paint and Sleep

Peas Idli, Sambhar and Chutney. A light South Indian cuisine lunch

This is how my Paratha balloons without yeast or food soda.

Cheese Potato Paratha with Chilli Mayo and Masala Tea

Does anyone want to take a bath here? 😜😋

This is indeed my favourite sleeping position of Junior. Because this shows he is sleeping stress-free and relaxed.

I painted Me 😁

Flashback of the year 2020!

Last day of 2020, and coincidentally on a Thursday, my blog day! It would only be appropriate for me to use this opportunity to summarize everything that happened in the past 365 days. Sipping on my tea and calmly thinking about this entire year, all I can say is while the year has been a roller coaster ride; it was probably not all that bad mentally.

I started the year with a bang; ended 2019 and began 2020 with friends at a small hill station. Took Junior to a Doggie event where he enjoyed to the fullest. Devoted a lot of time to this blog. Started trying various form of painting and exploring my skills. Sowed the seeds to my new business. While the new venture was kick starting, my partner and me also got into a parallel business which we had not really envisioned. And then, I even changed my hairstyle. Closely, all this I did in the months of January, February, and March, before the lockdown. Bizarre isn’t it? Since December 2019 I kept reading and hearing about the Corona Virus in Wuhan and eventually how Italy and Iran went into lockdown and people would sing from their windows, etc. But never even for the slightest second I thought that India too will go under complete lockdown.

Honestly, I believe no one around the world would have thought that this virus would turn into an outlandish Pandemic. Ever since the lockdown, there were many things that happened which awakened my inner strengths and weaknesses. Let me start by the major turnaround moment, and that was Junior’s deteriorating health. He fell ill in April and continued degrading till September when we finally were able to diagnose what was really wrong with him; needless to be mentioned I had almost lost him. Due to the lockdown and the fear of contracting the virus, we had limited movement, living alone and I was clouded with only negative thoughts. That was the time when I realized Junior was just not my strength, but biggest weakness also. My old fear (Casper’s death) creeped in and I was paranoid beyond belief. But Thank God, since September, Junior’s health took a U Turn and is improving every passing day. He is still not completely fine, as Pancreatitis takes about 3 to 6 months, and, a change of lifestyle to cure, but we are getting there.

Then later in 2020, after years of tears, fears and a long long wait, I finally got divorced. This was another major event that happened in my life this year. The initial few days felt empty, but later, I was rejuvenated.

I also changed my house, which I had been adjourning for the longest time. I was still contemplating whether or not to move, but I finally did and was the best decision this year. After relocating, I grasped the fact that I was living in my comfort zone, and, compromising a lot on my standard of living. The new house opened up my perspective on what I deserved which I had denied for a pretty long time.

The other thing that I did was, I exited many WhatsApp groups. Sounds small and irrelevant, but when you are living alone and cannot get out of the house, the major source of staying in touch with everyone is phone calls and WhatsApp. But I had quit for a few months; the major reason being fake news that were circulated nonstop. The unnecessary panic was not worth and I occupied myself in other indoor activities, specially entertaining Junior to keep him healthy and active, which in turn also kept my mind busy and body healthy.

It’s funny when in bad times; Facebook and Instagram prompts memories of the things you did on a date a year ago or some years ago. Because of this, each and every festival and birthdays also we celebrated on Zoom calls. My friends and cousins often spoke about what we did last year because of the social media prompts. But we also came to a conclusion, that when all this is over, we will all meet up, laugh and remember that how Zoom call was important in 2020. The best part was, Junior was present in every Zoom call and family and friends also used the doggy filter to not make him feel left out – : )

Work from home, cook for yourself, exercise at home, do home remedies to increase your immunity, social distancing, wash your hands, sanitize your house, etc. started as a temporary phase but ended up being the new normal which I still follow inspite of COVID19 cases reducing and the country has opened up.

Therewithal, I realized I was much happier alone and all the forced conversations, friendships and relationships ended. Some I terminated, some others did. This year put an end to all the halfhearted connections. Everyone who was faking, their masks fell off. And I have been the most grateful for all the people who left. It gets lonely sometimes, but being alone is much better than being friends, family or lover with someone who only used you when they were bored. I believe this happened because people spent most of their days indoors this year with their immediate families. Either they realized their closed one’s importance and mended the broken relations, or they realized they were not meant to be together and parted ways. Also, the savings were exhausting and businesses tanking, there was frustration. Because of all the personal issues, the other bonds faded. And those which were weak, crumbled down. In a way, it made me realize who was actually down for me and who was not. This lockdown turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

This year, many lost their loved ones, a lot of people lost their lives, some became bankrupt, jobless and homeless, some sewed up their relationships, others lead up to divorce or break up. Me too, disorientated from a lot of connections, lost a loved one, sinking business, a lot of frustration and panic attacks. But here I am, finally overcoming all the obstacles and setbacks one by one, sitting comfortably on my couch in my new house, with Junior by my side. All the setbacks were hurtful, but also prepared me for a comeback. Each time, stronger, braver and wiser. Everything happens for a reason and now I am positively hoping and wishing for a better 2021 for me and everyone else.

Wishing all of you a very Happy New Year, All The Best and Never Give Up. It gets better!