Petrified! Tranquilized!! Casper-fied!!!

I was once asked, “Why do you want to get married?” And, the naïve me promptly answered, “When you are married, it is difficult to end a marriage after a fight. But when you are dating, you are not sure if you will patch up, as you are not legally bound to.” It was a very impromptu answer, and I guess, I today know, I was so wrong. As life progresses, I finally learned, and understood, that like many others (possibly), I got married for the wrong reasons. Marriage is a union of two people who come together because they trust each other, to know your partner at a deeper level, to want the same things, to even fight fair, to have an endless sleepover with your favourite person, etc. It’s not just the paper work that solidifies your love for each other, but marrying the right person should make you feel more secure. You feel and act like a team by which your lives are calm and certain. But I reiterate, I definitely married for the absolute wrong reason.

Relocating to Dubai, I assumed my life would be wonderful. Living independently, without in laws, or for the matter of fact any relatives, I thought “Wow! What fun; I can do whatever I want!” While that was true to some extent, what I had not imagined, or realized, was the same freedom also gave my husband the license to do whatever he wanted too. Within the first year of our marriage, we had already started falling apart. For me, my husband had become my entire world; there was not a single moment that I would leave him alone. I had also started working in his company and we were practically together all the time. While I was delirious, I was oblivious to the fact that he on the other hand had started feeling suffocated. I guess things majorly started going wrong because we didn’t communicate our issues with each other. Like any other girl, I had left my family and friends back, got married to the love of my life and shifted to a foreign country. I had thought, he is my best friend, he is my family, and he is my life. I was wrong and the distance between us only kept increasing.

I was dejected, and, to divert my mind, I took up further education. I indulged myself in my books, and while I was trying to not only educate myself but also save the marriage, my husband saw this as an opportunity to continue with his own life. While things looked great from the outside, from within, on some level, both of us knew long back, that we were not meant to be with each other. In all this chaos, we came down to Mumbai for a family function. My sister mentioned that she wanted to gift a puppy to her son on his birthday and gave the responsibility to my husband. My husband was more than excited as he was an insane dog lover. Two days before my nephew’s birthday, my husband came home with a very cute puppy.  As mentioned earlier I was petrified of dogs; even the mention of the word Dog would literally fossilize me. The tiny puppy was in my home and I didn’t even touch him. We took him to the vet, got him vaccinated, and gave him a bath, all ready to be gifted. The two days the puppy was in my house, he would run around, play, eat and snooze most of the time. When the day came to gift him, my husband had already become emotional, and I on the other hand, was waiting for him to go away from my house. We reached my sister’s house and surprised her son with the puppy. He was ecstatic. And finally, the puppy had a name – Casper. When we left the party and sat in the car, that moment hit me like a bolt of lightning. I started crying as I realised, I had got attached to Casper. Those two days that he was at my house, even though I was panic stricken, I had fallen in love with him. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do anything about it!

We were in Mumbai for a month and we got busy in our lives. But there was not even a single moment that I wouldn’t think about Casper. Then one day, my sister called and informed my husband to take Casper back as she was not able to manage the kids and dog, and was doing injustice to him. It was unbelievable. My eyes glowed from joy and my heart was beating faster than a humming birds wings. But it wasn’t that simple. We were residents of Dubai and had to go back. We couldn’t take Casper along with us; UAE isn’t exactly a dog friendly country. Although we had been contemplating moving back to Mumbai for a while, doing that immediately there and then wasn’t an option. My husband and I had a discussion about this and we decided to get Casper home, keep him in boarding lodging, and visit him every 3 months, till we could figure out our future address. Clearly, both of us were not ready to let him go and we bought him home. Our joy had no limits; especially because after months of fighting and differences of opinions, this was the first time that my husband and I agreed to something together and shared our joy.

Life is so unpredictable. When you feel it is the end of the road, you suddenly see a way. Today, as I look back at the last 10 years of my life, I see and believe that ‘Happily Single’ is recognizing that you don’t need or want to be rescued from your life by a handsome prince because your life is pretty awesome, as is! Bing Single is NOT a taboo – There is no need to rush. If something meant to be, it’ll happen in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Being single does not have anything to do with your past, IF you’re single, focus on being a better you instead of looking for someone better than your ex. A better you will attract a better next!

There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them. Over the past few years, I learnt this that never stress about anything. Because whatever you over think and stress about, usually not even 10% of it happens. It’s said that there are more things to alarm us than to harm us, and we suffer more often in apprehension than reality. And, if, when, something does go wrong, you automatically get the strength to face it. Let me not deny the fact that after I got Casper and Junior, my life has been wonderful. In more ways than one, my fur babies have saved my life and turned me into a wonderful human being I am today. Even today, as I have passed through a terrifying phase of my life, Junior still inspires me every day. There is a saying, be like a dog. If you can’t have it or play with it, pee on it, throw some dust and move on. As I am excited for another positive coming up in my life in a few weeks, Junior is doing the best that he does, eat, play, sleep, repeat. And you know what; I would not want to change anything of it. I fall in love with him every single day over and over again.

Happily Married?

Fairy Tales always have a happy ending. However, that really depends on whether you are Rumpelstiltskin or the Queen.

In the modern age Fairy Tale ‘Princess Ben’ by ‘Catherine Gilbert Murdock’, she has rightly mentioned that every fairy tale, it seems, concludes with the bland phrase “happily ever after.” Yet every couple I have ever known would agree that nothing about marriage is forever happy. There are moments of bliss, to be sure, and lengthy spans of satisfied companionship. Yet these come at no small effort, and the girl who reads such fiction dreaming her troubles will end ere she departs the altar is well advised to seek at once a rational woman to set her straight.

After my boyfriend’s mother’s outright, and, not go forget unreasonable rejection for me, and our union, me and him started fighting more and more every single day. To a point where we had almost given up on each other and had started preparing ourselves to move on in life. But one day, when we were almost sure everything was over, a miracle happened. After months of grief, heartache and hopelessness, I heard the phone ring flashing the number of castles in air. It was my boyfriend’s mother. She had accepted me and our relationship and wanted to meet me and my parents. I was elated. Suddenly, I was the most jubilant girl on Earth. What made her change her mind is something I didn’t know or cared for; all that mattered was things were finally moving ahead the way we wanted them to.

Our parents met, and, in no time, we got engaged. Promptly, our preparations for the wedding started. We were fired up with the process and wanted everything perfect. The surest way to make your dreams come true is to live them. The excitement was beyond the description of words. It is always a glorious feeling. We were leaving no stones unturned for the big day. As a young girl, I had fancied for this day for a long time. And the day came. I was dressed as a princess, an Indian princess who walked down the aisle. And my prince charming was standing in front of me. In front of the Agni (the God of Fire) we took our vows to never leave each other and love each other in thick and thin, through the good and bad days, in sickness and in health. We were married!!

Promptly, we started our documentation to shift to Dubai from Mumbai to take care of his business. Amid all the paperwork, cultural and religious formalities post marriage; we went to Karjat to enjoy a weekend at his farmhouse. That’s where I met his two dogs Captain (Labrador) and Rocky (Doberman). As I had mentioned before, I was petrified of dogs. When they approached me, I ran and sat in the car out of fear till they were out of my sight. I behaved as if someone had left Lions in the open. My husband couldn’t control his laughter while I was sulking in the car. I spent the weekend in jitters and panic thinking the dogs will come and pounce on me. My husband tried a lot to talk me into about how good and adorable dogs are, but I was nowhere near convinced.

Soon after, we shifted to Dubai. As our life continued to flourish in a foreign country, trying to adapt to the new surroundings and environment; it was not all that euphoric as I had thought of. I realised, dating and marriage are two totally different worlds. Soon, Reality struck me!  My story has no beginning or an end. These are the moments of experience from which to look back or from which to look ahead. And unknowingly, whether in pain or happiness, I always moved ahead which I realised today. In joy, it was euphoria. In sadness, it was a learning lesson. Never give up. Miracles can happen even at the last moment!

Within all my life’s chaos, choosing to write this blog was the best decision of my life. It is not only a way for me to share a major and most important part of my life, but also to contribute my share of knowledge about dogs. From being a girl who was petrified of dogs, to be the mother of 2 wonderful dogs, I have gone through the learning curve and learnt so much about these wonderful creatures. If I can share this knowledge with other dog lovers and maybe help even 1 person with their pets, then I would consider the purpose of this blog fulfilled. There is not even a single boring day in one’s life if you have a dog. You are sad; he comes and cuddles with you. You are crying; he comes and licks your tears. You are bored; he is always ready to play. You are sick; he will give you the best comfort. You are happy; he is always ready to dance with you. He is a doctor, a teacher, a protector, but most importantly; the most loyal friend!

Every Thursday I update you all with my past and present life. Today, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Sapna and I am from Mumbai (India). I am a Lawyer by profession. I love to paint and cook which are my stressbusters. I am also a single dog mom who works out regularly and a yearning Pizza lover. I know I know; Pizza and exercising does not go hand in hand. But I have my cheat days. I have been asked why the “Accidental” Dog Mom. Well, let me reveal that in my next few posts. As we always say, you never know what tomorrow has in package for you. Keep reading and I hope you enjoy my posts.

Merry to Teary

Somewhere around pubescence, we have all seen dreams of falling in love and getting married to the love of our life – for girls it’s the reverie of a prince charming who will come on a white horse in his shining armour, grab her hand and ride off to a fairy tale land; Or the illusion and desire that at midnight you would lose a shoe destined to fall into the hands off a prince who would come looking for his lady love and once the shoe fits and you and him would live happily ever after. But reality is far from our delusions. Within seconds, all your dreams can get shattered. It is said that after adolescence, if one’s life is sufficiently interesting, the desire to tell oneself stories diminishes. This exactly is what happens in the real world!  

My prayers were answered. My feelings were reciprocated. We were captivated in love. Assuming nothing could go wrong, as we both buzzed from wealthy families, running the same business line, not having much of an age difference and of the same caste; we notified our families about our bond and plans to get married. My parents happily accepted my choices and wishes, but, unfortunately, and to my utter astonishment, his mother rejected me without even meeting me once.

As I mentioned before, sustaining love is not easy. Because of his mother’s headstrong disapproval, we began to quarrel and started to fall apart. I thought to myself, was our love so fragile that we couldn’t fight for it and instead started fighting with each other! It was a situation where it was him vs me, and not we vs the problem. Within months, we were from madly in love, to planning our happily ever after, to not tolerating to even see each other’s face.

Nothing helps a broken heart; not even a hot bath or a good night’s sleep. That was just the beginning of my whimsical to bottom out life which hit me like waves in the coming years. But one thing I learnt from this – You may be down in the dumps now, but take solace, in the fact that you’re definitely not the first one to have your heart broken in this world.

While my story continues with its ups and downs; a rollercoaster ride with a lot of thrill but also an unknown fear, my today is all together different than what it was more than a decade ago. This blog is not only a way for me to express my life in the simplest form as I can, but also to reach out to everyone and anyone who feels or believes all is lost. Believe me, nothing is lost. You are not alone. Hang in there and one day, you will see the sunshine. The prayers that were not answered were God’s way of protecting you and providing you with something better. Everything happens for a reason.

As I am writing this, Junior is fast asleep on the couch after jumping around all day. Once I am done for the day, I will hit the bed with Junior all cuddled up with me. Every single day I look forward to this. The warmth of his body, his soft fur and his loud snores. It feels like heaven. Nothing describes love in its purest form than a dog cuddled up with you. Oh well! He does occupy ¾th of the bed leaving little to almost no room for me to sleep. Not to forget the occasional toxic gas (just kidding) he passes sometimes from all the food he enjoys daily which believe me, I sometimes believe, is the only purpose and goal of life. But jokes apart, and honestly, I cannot live without any of this. I love coming home to him. A home filled with unconditional love, wet kisses, a super wagging tail and sparkling eyes. Yes! Junior is my home. My safe haven and the apple of my eye. I had heard about it that home can be another person. I believe it now. The person does not necessarily have to be a human!

The Prelude of Illusions!

Sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You must work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort and energy. We conclude that once we get the love of our life, it is going to last forever. This is where many of us go wrong, for happily ever after is usually only a figment of our imagination.

Year 2004, I was going to Sri Lanka for work. Little did I know that the trip would change my life forever. I was a Commerce Graduate, had just started her own business in the Travel Industry, and while most of my friends were struggling to find a decent job, or were getting married, I was not only euphoric, but also brandishing my overseas trip to every person I possibly could.  The business was out of passion, but of course predominantly because my father had the money to invest in my business. I was young, energetic, overconfident and snobbish, eager to swagger out to the world that I have started a travel business at such a young age.

I was introduced to a boy at the airport by my colleague, who was also travelling with us. My first impression of the boy was very mediocre. He was somewhat arrogant, a college graduate, and had recently joined his wealthy father’s well settled business. Work trips for him were just a way out to party all night and work was never really his primary agenda.

By the end of the trip we had exchanged phone numbers and little did we know that this was not the end. Soon, I started receiving forwards from him. Forwards turned to chatting, chatting turned to phone calls and phone calls turned to meeting. How did my impression for him change? I had slowly started to realize that I was moderately like him; a snob and an egoistic girl who had a rich father that provided the money and foundation to do something on my own. It didn’t take too long for me to realize that we were in fact mirroring each other. Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them; and when you do start falling in love, all the negativity miraculously starts to vanish. You turn to overlook anything that you may possibly dislike about the other person and all you can see is the happy rainbow. All his traits I had initially disliked started to overwhelm me. All I knew was that I was falling in love with him and, I prayed that he felt the same as well. The only difference I had seen then was that this boy was a die-hard dog lover and I was petrified of dogs.

While the story of the past is for the future to tell, the today is as beautiful as it can possibly be.

I have had a great week as I fulfilled 2 major goals of my life. First being that I started this blog to share my experiences; this blog was my dream for many many many years and I am extremely content to finally get it kick started.  And second, I started something very close to my heart with someone. I know this second statement is extremely ambiguous, but the details will follow through soon enough.

My baby Junior is a little over 7 years old. His day begins and ends with me and only me, and I can say no differently about myself either. An extremely innocent soul, who is not only my lifeline, but has time and again, proven to be the one who holds me together. He knows me, he knows my moves, he knows the twinkle in my eyes, he knows the sadness in my soul and he can snap me out of any kind of bad mood that I am in faster than anything else in this world. Junior has taught me unconditional love, and believe me, once you have that in your life, things won’t really be too bad.  Dog is indeed God spelled backwards.  Me and my younger baby Junior have had a great week, as we not only enjoyed one of our mornings at the beach, but also a day out at a Doggie event held in the city, where he was showered with a lot of goodies.

Wishing all my readers a great day! Remember every day is a good day; There is always something to learn, care and celebrate!

Everything Happens For a Reason!

Does it ever seem like you have more adversity in your life than anyone else in this world? As if, everyone around you is having an easier time of things than you are? You begin to feel pitiable for yourself. The question, “Why does this stuff always only happen to ME?” constantly plays on your mind, and, you seem to believe that the entire world is conspiring, to not only be your enemy, but also to take away the last bit of happiness from your soul! Often, our life experiences can be so overwhelming that we become depressed by the burden of stress and anxiety.

Like ‘Henri Noumen’ has rightly said, “The real enemies of our life are the ‘ought’s’ and the ‘ifs.’ They pull us backward into the unalterable past and forward into the unpredictable future. But, real life takes place in the here and now”. To all those who are wondering why I have created this blog; this is not just the story off me, but the story of how unpredictable, complex, and yet eventful life can be. The title of the blog is self-explanatory, and yes I am a ‘Dog Mom’ and my fashion philosophy (today) is, if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty!  But this was surely not the case a decade back.

It’s not easy to share one’s life experiences and yet make it interesting enough from anyone other than your own mother. Everyone has a unique perspective on life’s events. Everyone’s point of view differs as everyone has their own preconceived notions. But, Let me tell you this; I am just like one of you’ll and the story of my life and the events aren’t exactly too different from that of many others.

I lived in constant fear about things that will probably never happen. But this fear was derived from the events of my life which made me question and fear anything and everything no matter it is good or bad. Eventually, I have started to believe that fear is not only something that enjoys rent free space in your mind, but also, fear, many a times,  is meant to save us from further trouble which our subconscious mind invariably directs us towards when nothing in life seems to be going right. So, instead of worrying about what I cannot control, I have chosen to shift my energy to something that I can create. Sharing my story with the world is not going to be easy, sharing my views and my perspectives on life and its various events will be considered by some as rebellious. But, only after one steps outside their comfort zone, that they begin to change, grow, and transform!

I have learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, or end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Life is indeed a learning curve, and, as Buddha has said, as long as you feel pain, you are still alive. Things started to change almost 10 years ago. I was in the middle of a difficult time that was secretly a rebirth. The most unexpected series of events happened, which eventually turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Just when you think everything is lost or falling apart, it may actually be falling into place. The story of me which I will share with you through my blogs.

“The real you is not you, the real you is what is within you. What is behind your joy or your melancholy. What gives you the reason to ponder. What moves or stops you. What makes you you is you.”
― Ernest Agyemang Yeboah