Loneliness

Research finds that loneliness peaks at 20s + 30s, which they often find surprising because there is this perception that these are the years of “thriving”. One of the biggest reasons why people experience loneliness during this stage of their life is because there are numerous transitions.

Sure people can be thriving in their 20s and 30s; discovering their talents, passions, and identity. But at the same time, all these achievements are mostly accompanied by loneliness. Loneliness arises specially during transitional period.

When we understand how to connect with ourselves along with the newness of the understanding of life, along with connecting with others, it is often a learning curve. This is a topic that isn’t talked enough, and something that many people suffer with. Mental health is often ignored and goes under the rug. But as the world is becoming more and more technically advanced, loneliness is also reaching its peak.

Loneliness is an unpleasant emotion. It often leads to taking the wrong steps when people are feeling this emotion. Loneliness is also described as social pain—a psychological mechanism which motivates individuals to seek social connections. It is often associated with an unwanted lack of connection and intimacy.

Everyone’s experience of loneliness will be different. Feelings of loneliness are personal, and we all feel lonely from time to time. But loneliness is not always the same as being alone. You may choose to be alone and still live happily without much contact with other people, while others may find this a lonely experience.

Or you may have a lot of social contacts, or be in a relationship, or a part of a family, and still feel lonely. Some people experience deep and constant feelings of loneliness that come from within and do not disappear, regardless of their social situation or how many friends they have. There are many reasons people experience this kind of loneliness. You might feel unable to like yourself or to be liked by others, or you may lack self-confidence.

There are many who feel lonely after the death of a loved one, or loss in business, or a fight with a family member, or even after being unappreciated. There are many who feel deeply lonely after a breakup. They feel their life has come to a standstill. It’s never easy to let go of someone we choose to love. But if we never let go, we will never allow ourselves to have a new love experience. We will stay stuck as the sea of life continues to erode what we’ve once built.

But a bold wave have movement, some forward and some backward. Let the waves carry you to where you are intended to be, and not where you want to be. Loneliness is addictive. You make misery your company and identity. You find pleasure in comparing your life with others and often become the victim of your own thinking. Often, the thoughts in your mind are just made up scenarios. Your intrusive and anxious thoughts aren’t real. These thoughts are just storytellers.

Remind yourself, these thoughts that are making you feel worse and the feelings of loneliness are JUST thoughts, and many of them aren’t real. They are fake conclusions that you have created comparing your life with others, or by the breakup, or any other reason. They are thought traps that don’t let you move on in life.

Set your thoughts down for now. You will sort it out. You will find new love, you will earn the lost money, you will reconcile with the frowned one, and you will find peace one day about a lost soul. But it doesn’t have to be all in this moment. Not all things matter in life. You are destroying your own peace. Slow down! Stop running and stop running away. Stop chasing. Stop comparing. Stop being too hard on yourself.

Instead, be thankful to what is left. Give love to yourself and others. Cry it out if you have to. Trust the process. What belongs to you, will definitely find you. Be patient.

I Love You

I was kissing Junior yesterday, when a thought just popped into my head – does he understand what a kiss means? Does he know that I love him? While I was engrossed in my thoughts, Junior put his soft paws on my lap asking for another kiss. I perceived; he does understand that a kiss is the gesture to show my love to him.

Over the time, dogs tend to love human kisses and are quick to respond positively to them. Yes, your dogs know how much you love them. While we express our love to them in the form of Hugs, Kisses or saying I Love You. They show their love by giving long eye contact, wagging their tail, or bringing their favourite toy to you.

It’s not only humans who like to hear these 3 beautiful words “I Love You”, but even dogs like hearing it. Each time I leave the house, I tell Junior I Love You. I see him playing, I tell him again. I come out of the washroom and see him outside the door, I tell him. I have lost count of how many times I tell Junior I Love him in a day.

Your dog’s eyes do much of their talking. You can communicate back to them using the same language of eye contact. When a dog gives you long, lingering eye contact, it’s a way of saying “I love you.” A recent study shows that oxytocin, the ‘love chemical,’ goes up in both dogs and humans when they share a kind gaze.

Junior loves sleeping next to me. He will never sleep alone. If it’s his bedtime and I am still sitting on the couch, he will hop on the couch and sleep on my lap. That’s his way of reciprocating his love. I have tried giving him his own bed in the past, but he refuses to sleep on it. In the day time, he will relax a bit on his bed, but when he actually wants to sleep, he wants me by his side. Isn’t this a wonderful feeling!

Technically, Junior is my tail and I am his shadow. Most of the times, I don’t even have to tell him I Love You to express my love. He just knows.

Learning to say, “I Love You” to your dog is a simple matter of getting to know both your dog’s individual body language as well as those comforts of pack life that your dog’s animal brain still craves. As a bonus, all or any type of love languages benefits your sense of well-being, too.

The bond between owner and pet is like no other—they’re our companions, always along for the ride no matter what ups and downs life brings. They show us joy and make us laugh, and even listen to us like they know exactly what we’re saying. 

“Nobody can fully understand the meaning of love unless he’s owned a dog. A dog can show you more honest affection with a flick of his tail than a man can gather through a lifetime of handshakes.” – Gene Hill, author of A Hunter’s Fireside Book and Hill Country

From A Dog’s Perspective

Presenting a Dog’s guide to save a human. Every once in a while; we need some humour in our life to keep functioning in a healthy manner. So here’s a comic post to brighten up your day.

From a Dog’s point of view:

With the evolution of time, and the stressful periods increasing on Earth, humans are becoming more like machines and following a sedentary life. It is our (dogs) responsibility to walk them so that they stop chasing material things all the time and live a healthy life.

Human beings need to be walked. Or else they sink into their couches and will soon become a potato. It is our job to save them. Let’s get the facts right,   walking isn’t only fun, it’s healthy. Humans are naive, they are obsessed with collars and leashes. They don’t understand, that if we starting running free, then they will run behind us and reach their health goals in no time.

Alright, the leash is important. What if the human runs away? Dangerous, very dangerous! You have to keep your human close to you. Let’s just be a little considerate. We will give them a lot of breaks while walking by sniffing everything that comes our way.

We will also increase the walk time by not peeing at once. We should pee a few drop multiple times so that the human can walk with ease. We love our humans a lot and care for them. So we have to think from all angles to help our humans not turn into couch potatoes.

Besides this, we will also give some exercise to our humans. Poop and walk away. If our human is well trained, they will bend down and pick our poop. Good aerobics.

On the way, bark at leaves or bottles to remind your humans that they are in safe hands.

Periodically, when you feel your human is getting slow or lazy, pull the leash and trying running fast. The human will get energised in no time. It is our responsibility to train our human to be prepared for any situation.

Once you are home, reward your human with a lot of kisses for doing a good job. After a few kisses, don’t let your human sit immediately. Humans have a short memory span. Remind them that the trainer needs food for energy and do not give up until you are fed.

After all this is over, head to your comfort zone and go to sleep. It is good to occasionally fart in your sleep to awaken your human’s senses. So go ahead and religiously purify the air.

Repeat this entire procedure everyday to get good results.