Is Life Fair?

No, life is not fair – but how we define fair is a matter of perception! One can have the world and yet not be content; and then there can be one with just enough to live and be fully content. But the truth is, words of the wise, while good to hear, rarely find an implementable spot in our lives!

Despite many of us living good, honest lives, content, life does not seem to shower its blessings on us. It is then that we wonder if life is unfair. It is human nature to compare, compete, and, feel dejected; especially when we see other having more money, huge properties, better relationships or good health. But the truth is, everyone is struggling. Everyone is fighting their own battles. And if one day we were asked to exchange our problems with each other, we will probably pick our own and move away.

I always wonder, that I had given the best of treatment to Casper, the best quality food, spent a lot of money to cure him; but he still, when it was his time to go – nothing in my power could save him. Then I think about the stray dogs. They live on the streets, they don’t know whether or not they will get their next meal, harsh weathers, etc. Still they survive and live long years. Then how is life fair?

The view from my bathroom

I was in a long distance relationship. When I first started dating, I got scared and told the guy that I cannot do a LDR. He told me, “You’ve had relationships with men who lived close to you and none of them worked out. Then why shy away because I live thousands of miles away. Who knows that this relationship will work out!” For the current update, we are still trying to work things out. But his words hit home. I dated people who were just at a hop skip and jump distance and it never turned out to be fruitful. And now we are still holding on to each other even though we are at a distance. Is life fair?

People say hard work is the key to success. It is true. But I have seen people who became filthy rich overnight without doing any hard work. And I have also seen people who hit rock bottom inspite of working their asses off and putting sweat and blood into the business to survive. How is this fair?

I know some many people who always lived a healthy lifestyle, and still died young due to heart attack. And I know some, one of them being my late grandpa, who smoked all his life and died at an of 89 years. My aunt has hit the gym for 15 years, followed a very strict healthy diet, and she still got cancer. When I had gone to visit her at the hospital when she was undergoing Chemotherapy, the cancer ward had as young as 4 years old kids with cancer. What did the child do to deserve this? This is truly not fair!

Let me tell you something about my personal life. When I was young, I was reckless, rude, arrogant, and, never really thought about others feelings before breaking their hearts. But I achieved everything at that young age like a blooming career, a husband that was my prince charming, money, luxury, etc. As I got older, I started realizing how toxic I was and improved myself. I have become the most lovable girl that anyone knows (people say that to me). But now, inspite of working hard, giving my everything in a relationship, I achieve the bare minimum. Sometimes, I feel I should become the hooligan that I was before. This only makes me think that there is no place for good people on this Earth. How can this be fair?

Another personal example is; Casper was a very pampered dog as compared to Junior. He was taken on endless holidays, trips, car rides, toys, clothes, belly rubs, etc. On the other hand, Junior just was an addition. On face value, I had 2 dogs. But it was mainly about Casper. But Casper died, and died young. After he passed away, I realized I didn’t know much about Junior’s favourite toy or his habits, whether or not he likes belly rubs, does he like car rides, etc. I felt ashamed. The point is, who was given everything didn’t survive, and who was neglected is now living his best life. I wasn’t fair and so being life.

We often wish to have a celebrity’s life. The glamour, the fame, the name, the money, the instant supply of money, the beauty and so on. But have you noticed, so many celebrities commit suicide. I cannot help but wonder, what did that person lack to take such a drastic step? Some of them were not even lonely, then why? Fair?

Bottom-line is, life is not fair. If someone has money, then they don’t have a good life partner. If someone has love, then they get a very short time to spend with their loved ones. If someone has money, love, career, then they cannot have kids. If someone has a loving family, then they do not have money. And let me not forget, someone so educated and talented is facing abuse from their spouse or children being beaten up by their parents. We all lack something or the other. And in these social media trending times, our comparisons have increased making us more miserable.

Yes, there are instances where all the hard work has paid off, a broken heart has become brand new, a degrading health has come back to the healthiest version, an obese person has become a bikini model, a beggar has become an overnight singing celebrity. But such instances are very few.

I hate my life! Is a phrase we hear quite often. I too have said it many a times. But if I have learnt anything in all these years, then that is – Life Goes On! Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be. We cannot exist without the good and without the bad, like yin and yang. Yes, sometimes survival becomes very difficult, but as I have said earlier, find a reason to live. My reason to live is Junior. And no matter whatever problems I face in my life, I live for him. Unless you are winning, most of life will seem hideously unfair. So, don’t stop doing your hard work. Who knows one day your luck will shine bright!

Maid my day 🙂