It’s Not Magic

When we are asked to about the 3 magical words, we automatically think about “I Love You”. But there are another 3 magical words – It’s Not Magic. This applies for everything in life. Most importantly when you are getting an ill patient treated.  In short, it means to do the work and then be patient.

Let me give you an example of my dog. Earlier, when he used to fall sick, I would take him to the vet. The vet would treat him or prescribe some medicines, and I would expect results immediately. If my dog was not showing results, I would Google his symptoms and automatically assume the worse; followed by calling the vet and bombarding him with questions. That’s when one time; the vet told me “it’s not magic”.

This statement has been stuck into my mind ever since. I thoroughly understood what he was trying to say with these 3 words. From that day forward, I started applying these words even in other aspects of my life.

Don’t hurry. If you must, then hurry slowly. Nothing is magic. Everything takes time. Having patience means being able to wait calmly in the face of frustration or adversity or anxiety. Basically patience is essential in every part of life.

The moment the vet told me “it’s not magic”, I immediately slowed down. I had just got Junior treated. I had to be calm and keep my patience for the magic to actually work. Results take time, which I used to forget in the time of urgency. There are times when we have to take immediate decisions. But immediate decisions don’t mean immediate results.

Keeping calm and having patience also saves us from making wrong decisions or going over board when it’s not needed. As I mentioned, earlier I used to stupid. Imagining that the vet treated my dog, means he has to start being active immediately or illness has to be cured immediately, and if that did not happen, I would Google his symptoms, or sometimes even talk to people and ask for advice. Forgetting that they are not professionals and every dog is different resulting to different results and different forms of treatments. After all the chaos, I would put myself into deep anxiety and bombard the vet with questions and even ask him to do many other tests. Again, forgetting that he is an experienced professional, and if needed, he would advise me to get my dog tested further.

It’s not that the doctors do not make mistakes. They do. They are humans after all. But they are definitely far more experienced than us. And I am not even trying to saying that if we have a question or a doubt, then we shouldn’t address it. We definitely should. But then, once again, once we get the answers, we should be patient. Remember – it’s not magic.

Same way, when we start a new business or a new relationship, we cannot expect results from day 1. We should let it grow. Nourish it. Be patient. Do the hard and smart work. And then one day, our patience pays off. If everything was magic, then there would have been no meaning of life. Patience teaches us to even appreciate of what we have, how far we have come and eventually enjoy the results.

Each time now when my dog falls ill, I follow what the vet says and stay calm. No matter how long it takes to treat him, as far as my dog is getting better, I am patient. Most importantly, I have vowed to NEVER listen to idiots giving free unasked advice.

I also apply these magical words in my daily life. Even if I have fallen ill, or started a new side hustle, or have started a new relationship, I am patient. Just like “Rome Wasn’t Built In A Day”, the same way, nothing is magic.

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What it’s like to have Dogs

I used to wonder what it would be like to have someone miss you while you took a dump…….hahaha! Well, I do not have to wonder anymore.

Once you get a dog into your life and house, then there is no turning back for another 10 years atleast. Having a dog is the most wonderfully frustrating, life-altering thing that can happen to you. You have a companion who literally worships the ground you walk on. In short, having a dog is WONDERFUL!

  • You will never eat your food alone. He/she will always be there staring at your mouth. Sometimes even grabbing it.
  • When you get back home, your dog will welcome you with his/her awesome dance and lots of lickies.
  • You will find dog hair everywhere. On your clothes, in your food plate, on your bed, even in your hair.
  • You will never feel lonely ever again. Dogs are the best companions.
  • You will never do anything alone. Your dog will follow you everywhere, in the kitchen, in the washroom, in the balcony, etc.
  • You will learn parenthood once you get a dog. They are just like small children who never grow up.
  • Most of the days, your dog will be the only reason you get out of bed. You have to feed them, take them for a walk, etc.
  • Your life will be centered on them.
  • You will start seeing the world through their eyes.
  • You will have the best days of your life, as well as some of the worst days.
  • You become more physically active than before.

While there are many many good things that come with dogs, let’s not forget, there are a few unfavourable things as well.

  • Dogs are money suckers. You have to spend on their food, medicals, well being, etc.
  • They are energy suckers as well. While they are puppies and young, they have a lot of energy. And it is our responsibility to burn their energy.
  • Whether you are ill or healthy, you have to cater to your dog at all times.
  • You are restricted to go out whenever you want. You have to adjust your outings as per your dog’s schedule.
  • But the worst, while they bring in a lot of happiness, when they leave, your heart is brutally wounded which NEVER heals.

Having a dog means having someone who loves you even if you are ugly. They don’t care whether you are rich or poor. They will happily eat what you feed them. They will wait for hours for you to return home and welcome you with the same excitement every single day. They make you feel special every single minute of the day. You are loaded with unconditional love and loyalty. Never will there be a better friend than a dog.

What it’s like having a dog? Dogs are there for you even when humans fail to be there for each other. You will have a bodyguard for life. They will protect you always. Dogs make you laugh, and even listen to you as if they understand everything you say. It’s incredible just how much support an animal can bring to your life. Dogs are love sponges. Having a dog means, 10 years of your life filled with happiness, some mess and lots of cuddles and kisses. Dogs make your house a home.

Adulthood

Those were the days when we used to wait to be adults, thinking we can do our own things without asking permission from our parents. No restrictions, live life to the fullest, party, dating, etc. were all the things on our mind believing adult life is the best.

It turns out; adulating is a lot harder than it looks. You know, I am genuinely scared of all the things we have to do as adults. Finding jobs, finding love, finding out whether the love we have found is perfect for us, having good social media accounts, clicking pictures rather than living in the moment, etc. are some of the everyday things that are way too real than what we see in the movies.

Into the bargain, taking our parents to the hospitals, dealing with death, heartbreaks, trauma, loss and agony are the worse things we have to deal with. We always forget that as we are growing, our parents are also becoming old. After a period of time, we start losing our loved ones every year. The ones whom we used to admire when we were small kids and fantasy to have a life like them.

Besides all of this, we often have to take major or big decisions like getting married or not, having children or no, joining a company or no, resigning from a job, buying a house, etc. This is the time we realise we were better off as kids only. The only decision we had to take that time was to choose the colour of the dress or water bottle.

Doing things for love, or doing things out of love, we are always dreading ourselves. Every single day we are living in fight or flight mode. Never finding anything good enough! Are we living life to the fullest or just living?

And then, sometimes everything hits you all at once. You lose a relationship, suddenly change jobs, old friends leave, bills are due and savings have drained due to a pandemic or some illness or wrong investment, and you have to deal with all this on your own. It’s up one day and down the next. You have it all together on Monday, and by Thursday you do not have a god damn clue. Adulthood is realizing life is one big wave and all we can do is flow, grow and adapt.

It’s only sometimes when we see others going through the same things, we realize how despite being different from one another, there is something in the universe that holds us all together. And that for us, on some days, is enough to lean on.

I am not sure how many times life challenges us, but if there is one thing I have learnt, it’s that in the face of fear, bravery emerges. Let’s rest our minds knowing that what will be, will be. We don’t need to over think the how and when. Let’s be at ease by trusting and allowing ourselves to breathe through the uncertainty knowing that things will eventually become clear. Because this is what our adults did when were kids. Because true adulthood is understanding that the only constant in life is change.

No one else has the time to look out for us. They are busy looking out for themselves. So save money, eat healthy, and get good enough sleep. No one else is going to make sure we are those things. You are the captain of your own ship. Sail it through the waves. And for God’s sake, please do not compare your life with others, whether through social media, friend circle, family, or any other source. By all means, remember – we are all dealing with the same devil, but at different levels.

Reasons to Stay Alive

Life is precious of all the treasures. Let’s come to a state where living itself becomes a state of joy!

The world is increasingly designed to depress us. Happiness is not good for the economy. If we were happy with what we had, why would we need more?  And after the Pandemic, things have shattered us up to such limit, that repairing it will take years.            

I always believe, human race runs on only 2 sentiments, i.e. Fear and Greed. You make someone worry about aging; they will run to buy an anti-aging cream. You scare someone about the harmful effects of a particular food; they will immediately run to buy organics. You influence someone about some benefits of an investment scheme; they will put in their entire savings in the greed of getting back more. You tell someone you are an expert in predicting the future and their future looks weak, but you have solutions to it; that person will be immediately driven by fear and greed.

In the era of smart phones and social media, people are worried about missing out on something. Everyone feels comparing their selves to others, where they feel they are left behind. And when we fail to cope with or handle all the pressures, we feel it’s best to end it all. The best way to deal with life’s pressure is to remain calm, in any situation. To be calm becomes a kind of a revolutionary act. To be happy with our own non-upgraded existence and to be happy with our own messy human selves would be the best remedy.

There is no exact definition of normal. It differs from person to person, situation to situation. Wherever you are, at any moment, and you feel like you are walking around with your head on fire and no one can see the flames, pause for a moment and look around. Can you smell the fresh brewing coffee? Can you see the beautiful flowers blooming? Can you see a smile on some stranger’s face? Or even the clouds outside your window? You see, there is something beautiful in the simplest things. It is us who make everything complicated.

There are some very simple reasons to stay alive. Even when everything has come crushing down, there is always a reason to live.

  • You still have to listen to some beautiful songs
  • And the uncontrollable laughs with your siblings or friends
  • How about trying out some tasty food
  • Or let’s just read a new book
  • And there are many goals to achieve yet
  • Let’s just Netflix and Chill
  • Travelling to the countries you always wanted to go
  • Listening to the sound of the rain
  • Grandparents/parents massaging your head
  • Meeting the love of your life
  • Wearing that dress for a special occasion you have been waiting for
  • Or let’s just make some nice Tea/Coffee
  • Beat of all, play with your dog and see him/her getting old and be with them

You see, life is simple and the joys of life lie in the things that we already have. Aim high, but do not fear living in the present. Have dreams, but do not get distracted from reality. There are times when nothing is going right. No matter what you do, you feel the whole world is against you. No solutions in the horizon to solve your problems. Even then, there are millions of reasons to live. In such situations, stay calm and patient. And repeat to yourself that your situation will change. It does not rain forever.

Above all, live for yourself. Depression and Anxiety are story tellers. Don’t believe everything you think. Most of the times, the gravity of the situation is 1%, and the remaining 99% is created in the head out of fear, greed or ego. Let loose for some time. Sleep over it. Wake up, make yourself some Tea/Coffee and analyse your situation and your surroundings.

Life had punched me in the face back to back in the past 10 years. I had tried giving up on life 10 years ago. One simple act prevented me from taking that step and ever since, I have never thought of ending my life. Since then, I have always found a reason to live and enjoy the moments. And when my situation is very bad, even then my dog’s mere presence is my reason to live.

Life is waiting for you. You might be stuck here for a while, but the world isn’t going anywhere. You are in a hurry. So calm down and take your time. Hang in there if you can. Life is always worth it. Three in the morning is never the time to try and sort out your life. Once the storm is over, you won’t even remember how you made it through. You are alone, I am alone. Yet we are together. Everyone is struggling in some or the other way. We are made of flesh, but also of stars. If your life is hell; keeping walking. Why would you want to stay in hell! You were there before, and now you know the way out. Don’t give up or give in. Calmly walk through it. 

Cancer

Cancer – A word everyone dreads to hear. Cancer doesn’t wait for anyone. It doesn’t see the gender or age or human or dog. I was one of the unfortunate ones to hear it. Cancer is a very scary word, and on one forlorn morning, I got a call with Junior’s diagnosis. He was deducted with Mastocytoma, a type of Skin Cancer.

Around 2 months ago, Junior had developed skin infection, where his skin had become flaky and his body was covered in tiny boils. The Vet gave some medicines and vitamin E injection. He told me that there was nothing to worry and Junior will be fine. Junior’s skin started improving but there was a small puss boil between his stomach and behind legs. Earlier it was very small in size, but in no time, it grew bigger and started oozing a little blood.

I immediately showed it to the Vet and he recommended me to get it surgically removed on urgent basis. I did exactly the same and Junior underwent a surgery the next day. The vet sent the lump for biopsy and informed me that the results will take about a week to 10 days to come. He also warned me that it could be cancerous, but most likely a local Cancer as his blood reports were normal and the lump was only on the outer layer of his skin.

I was definitely scared. As Junior was recovering from the surgery, I was slipping into Anxiety. But I kept myself sane by repeating two things that my brother and the vet said. 1) My brother told me to forget about the lump and only remember that his blood reports were absolutely normal, and 2) The Vet told me it was most likely Cancer, but at an early stage or local.

I tried keeping a positive attitude throughout till I received the biopsy results. And then, that unlucky day came where I was getting ready to leave for office and my mobile rang. It was the Vet. He confirmed – it was Cancer. I couldn’t believe what I had heard. I was speechless. It took me sometime to register the news, but then, I cried uncontrollably. But there was a twist. The reports didn’t mention the grade of Cancer. It just told the type of Cancer, so the Vet recommended me to an Oncologist.

I got an appointment with the Oncologist after 4 days. Till that time, I had already started having episodes of Panic Attacks and severe Anxiety. But I had to hold myself together for Junior.

The day of the appointment arrived and I reached the Oncologist’s clinic with Junior. She took an entire history of Junior, checked his reports and did a physical examination. She suggested we send the sample for a second histopath (biopsy) and know exactly what grade it was. Since Junior was active and he was eating and pooping well, she too thought and told me that hopefully it was an early stage, but we could only be sure once the second opinion comes which would take another 8-10 days. She explained to me the further plan of action if the Cancer was grade 3 and above.

Another 8-10 days of waiting. Each day was like living in hell. But I kept myself extremely strong and didn’t entertain any negative thoughts. This was the first time in my life that I was going through a bad time but my mind had remained strong. This time, I didn’t let Anxiety win. I took complete control over my thoughts and kept telling myself, “Whatever the results come, I will do whatever it takes.”

8 days had passed. I called the Oncologist in the morning to know if the results were back. She informed me that they had not arrived yet and she would call me once they come. I had kept myself strong till then and was still being optimistic. The same day in the afternoon I received a call from the Oncologist’s clinic. The receptionist told me that the results had come the doctor would like to talk to me. My heartbeats had started racing till the time I was on hold. Finally, the doctor answered the call and her first sentence was, “its good news.” I was extremely ecstatic. Something like, I didn’t want to hear anything further. The results were a Grade II (low grade) Cancer which was gone as soon as the lump was removed surgically.

My happiness knew no bound. I was crying once again, but happy tears. Tears that I was holding on for so many weeks. The Oncologist advised me to get a regular check up done every 3 months with our vet. Though the chances of reoccurrence of such low grade Cancers are unlikely, but now we have to be vigilant. I informed my Vet about the same. He too relived a sigh of relief.

Today, I am extremely grateful that Junior is fit and fine, and lives every day like an active puppy. Such a fighter! In the past 2 years, Junior has been through so much and each time he wins. My baby has beat Cancer and is Cancer-free at the moment and I pray this dreaded disease doesn’t make a comeback ever.

Life has become very fragile and unpredictable, but I would like to share a personal experience of how I coped with Anxiety this time. If there is something you cannot control, just give in your best and leave the rest in the hands of God. Prayers are very powerful.