pet – The Accidental Dog Mom

When we are asked to about the 3 magical words, we automatically think about “I Love You”. But there are another 3 magical words – It’s Not Magic. This applies for everything in life. Most importantly when you are getting an ill patient treated. In short, it means to do the work and then be patient.

Let me give you an example of my dog. Earlier, when he used to fall sick, I would take him to the vet. The vet would treat him or prescribe some medicines, and I would expect results immediately. If my dog was not showing results, I would Google his symptoms and automatically assume the worse; followed by calling the vet and bombarding him with questions. That’s when one time; the vet told me “it’s not magic”.

This statement has been stuck into my mind ever since. I thoroughly understood what he was trying to say with these 3 words. From that day forward, I started applying these words even in other aspects of my life.

Don’t hurry. If you must, then hurry slowly. Nothing is magic. Everything takes time. Having patience means being able to wait calmly in the face of frustration or adversity or anxiety. Basically patience is essential in every part of life.

The moment the vet told me “it’s not magic”, I immediately slowed down. I had just got Junior treated. I had to be calm and keep my patience for the magic to actually work. Results take time, which I used to forget in the time of urgency. There are times when we have to take immediate decisions. But immediate decisions don’t mean immediate results.

Keeping calm and having patience also saves us from making wrong decisions or going over board when it’s not needed. As I mentioned, earlier I used to stupid. Imagining that the vet treated my dog, means he has to start being active immediately or illness has to be cured immediately, and if that did not happen, I would Google his symptoms, or sometimes even talk to people and ask for advice. Forgetting that they are not professionals and every dog is different resulting to different results and different forms of treatments. After all the chaos, I would put myself into deep anxiety and bombard the vet with questions and even ask him to do many other tests. Again, forgetting that he is an experienced professional, and if needed, he would advise me to get my dog tested further.

It’s not that the doctors do not make mistakes. They do. They are humans after all. But they are definitely far more experienced than us. And I am not even trying to saying that if we have a question or a doubt, then we shouldn’t address it. We definitely should. But then, once again, once we get the answers, we should be patient. Remember – it’s not magic.

Same way, when we start a new business or a new relationship, we cannot expect results from day 1. We should let it grow. Nourish it. Be patient. Do the hard and smart work. And then one day, our patience pays off. If everything was magic, then there would have been no meaning of life. Patience teaches us to even appreciate of what we have, how far we have come and eventually enjoy the results.

Each time now when my dog falls ill, I follow what the vet says and stay calm. No matter how long it takes to treat him, as far as my dog is getting better, I am patient. Most importantly, I have vowed to NEVER listen to idiots giving free unasked advice.

I also apply these magical words in my daily life. Even if I have fallen ill, or started a new side hustle, or have started a new relationship, I am patient. Just like “Rome Wasn’t Built In A Day”, the same way, nothing is magic.

He is such a cutie 💓

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I cook, I eat, and I enjoy.

Old age should look like this. When I paint 🎨

Sniffy

Codependency

Legitimately, there are so many new words I heard and learnt in the past 4 years that it is unbelievable how our generation and the younger generation has complicated, wasted and made the beautiful term “LOVE” meaningless. Besides ghosting, gaslighting, narcissist, talking stage, etc., codependency is just another word that I learnt.

Now what is codependency? In simple words, it means where a person is needy, or dependent upon another person. Basically, clingy. In a relationship, one person is so addicted to the other, that their life doesn’t function normally without the presence of the other person. In a crux, it is actually an unhealthy relationship.

But here, I mainly want to talk about codependent dogs. Yes, I learnt this word after interacting with a Vet. And to understand it better, I read through some articles on the internet and realized this has become very common these days in a relationship.

I had recently gone to the Vet as we are in the process of changing Junior’s medicated food to normal food. He relatively had less patients that day and was free to talk to me. He shared some not so surprising facts with me about the 2 major issues dogs faced in the lockdown – anxiety and obesity.

Obesity was because of the restrictions during the lockdown and the fear of coming in contact with the virus if humans walked their dogs in public. So most of the dog parents over fed their dogs with treats and crumbs to keep them entertained or not to disturb them when they were on a work call or in short, when they were working from home.

The other problem was, anxiety that the dogs faced was because outdoor activities were limited, socializing was a strict no and every walk was atleast 6 feet away from any kind of interaction with other dogs and humans. Because of the pandemic, the humans stayed home 24/7, which means, it was a party for the dogs. For them, there is nothing better than being with their humans’ day and night for months together. Unfortunately, this in due course resulted to codependency. The dogs became completely reliant on their humans for every minute of their day.

You probably would think, “how cute, my dog follows me everywhere. Aww, he/she loves me so much.” But in reality, your dog has forgotten to grasp the concept of having space, and their dependency could be making them a nervous wreck. They have now become so afraid when you leave the house or are not there at home that they become ecstatic when you come home. Their tails are wagging frantically, they start jumping on you and sometimes, even the house is a mess.

For most of us this is a normal behavior, irrespective of the pandemic. But the difference is, now it has become difficult for the dog to be on their own after we have spent months with them and started suffering from anxiety.

So, how do you know the difference between cuteness and codependency? Here are some signs to check in your dog:

Barking more than normal
Jumping a lot
Howling
Peeing on the floor
Destroying things at home
Following you from room to room
Nipping on people who gets close to them
Over possessive about their humans
Head bobbing
Become a little aggressive
Eats only after you feed them

These are some signs to look for. If you can relate to some or all of the above, then your dog is completely dependent on you and may develop anxiety if not corrected soon.

When I had relocated to a new apartment, Junior faced codependency for a few days as the place was new. But since I knew it was a temporary phase till he got adjusted, I just let him be. But codependency can turn into a permanent problem for the dogs with the little lives that they have.

Allow me to share some suggestions/tips to help your dog and you through it. But first, let me once again bring light to the fact that their clinginess may look cute, but being responsible dog parents, we have to help them be mentally independent just like how we would for human kids. Here are some tips when they behave to gummy:

Pet them less
Ignore them when they are wanting too much attention
Make sure they sleep or have plenty of things to do when you leave home
Be strict on their sleeping time
Slowly and steadily start taking them to dog parks and socialize with other dogs (now that the lockdowns have eased all over the world)
Even when you are home, send them to their favourite space as time out. Basically, less dog-parent interaction
Burn their energy
Stimulate their mind with mental games

Let me inform you, sometimes, the way one partner is dependent on the other partner, even humans can be dependent on their dogs. Like some humans cannot sleep without their dog by their side, or some call the day care 10 times to know how their dog is doing, many won’t go on holidays or dates without their dogs, and even if they do, their only topic to talk about is their dog! Either way, codependency is not healthy. For the betterment of everyone living under one roof and the dog, start being honest with yourself. Learn to have a life of your own and also help your dog become healthy mentally.

Can you smell what this blogger is cooking?

Cooked a few dishes this week, but they were ultra delicious.

Baba Ghanush and Pita Bread. It was the best Pita Bread I have ever made….in my second attempt 😜

Potato Cheese Paratha. So filling and finger licking.

Because this is what matters…….Love, Peace and Happiness! When I paint 😊

Gloomy Week 😷

In Mumbai, it has been raining heavily from the past 3 days, because of which I couldn’t take Junior for a walk. I tried giving him his required exercise and burnt his energy at home only as much as I could. However, we still had a fun week.

The featured image is of sweet and tangy Risotto.