Bullies

I had taken a break last week from uploading a post. The reason for that was, I was fueled with anger. Today, in this post; I am writing everything from the heart and experience.

My country India is going through a tough time right now. We all are scared not just about the Corona Virus, but about our survival as well. Every single day we hear and read about deaths. All this has increased a lot of anxiety in majority of us. We are already living in fear, but there are some who add up to the stress.

Last week, some Anonymous had left a nasty comment on my page which said, “I am a self-obsessed, male attention seeking, ugly whore, who’s own marriage is wrecked and now is wrecking others marriages.” I am not too sure if this comment was left by someone known or some anonymous who actually took the effort to read my posts and then leave a nasty comment like this. Besides this, someone else left a comment on my dog Junior that in such bad times, I have kept a dog and spending money on him instead of donating.

Let me start by saying, yes I am divorced and there were a lot of factors which lead to my divorce. How does that mean I am a self-obsessed, male attention seeking, ugly whore? And by just being divorced, does that mean I am going to break others marriages? Even Bill Gates got divorced. Does that mean his wife is now going to break others marriages! What I don’t understand is, if you have so much guts to leave a disgusting comment like this, then why “Anonymous”, show your face and leave your name. I will be more than happy to clear your misunderstanding.

Regarding my dog, he is with me since 9 years, and I may not eat but see to it he has been fed rather than donating to people who can’t even follow basic protocols of wearing a mask on the nose and putting others life in danger. I do my piece of social work and I do not need anyone’s validation.

Fake WhatsApp messages, daily propaganda of news channels, irresponsible citizens, lack of support from the Government, etc. and then, there are internet bullies who are spineless, no work to do, no guts, but just leave assholic comments because they don’t have to face the person.

But this isn’t new. I know of someone, who would be so possessive about her boyfriend, that eventually her relationships turn toxic and she would end up being single all the time. She would always blame other women if her relationship turned sour. Something like, “she was his ex and now she is trying to get him”, or “I will not let my boyfriend meet this girl because she is divorced and want others husbands/boyfriends”. However, all her relationships failed because she was insecure within herself. And that insecurity she would display on others making even her friendships toxic. Constantly playing a victim card, not working on yourself, and always blaming others makes you a toxic person and a bully.

I have always been bold and open about my personal life. I try to spread as much positivity and encouragement as I can through my experience. In such tough times, if you can’t be good to yourself and other people, then atleast keep your mouth shut and don’t be a spineless bully.

Stress, depression and anxiety are already silent killers. I am a strong person and I can hit back. But many have committed suicide because of bullies. When the mindset is already in fear because of the pandemic, why create more chaos. When a marriage is breaking, why blame only the other woman? Your husband opened that space for the other woman. If he was true to the wife or happy in the marriage, he wouldn’t have opened that personal space. Correct your husband first. Or I must say, as I have mentioned before also, sometimes we too are toxic, for which our partners seek love outside. Being divorced doesn’t mean I am lonely, desperate and available. No one wants a divorce, but sometimes it is inevitable.

Let’s all be humble and fight this together. If you can’t be good, don’t be bad either. Keep quiet and mind your own business. Regarding dogs, we all pet parents are capable of doing anything for our pets to keep them healthy and safe. We all do our set of humanity gestures. Just because we do not post it, doesn’t mean we are not helping others. If you are frustrated with your own life, I have said before, seek professional help if nothing is helping you.

I can take criticism well, atleast show your identity. I have a fighting spirit and I am getting stronger every passing day, again through experience. I request all those who think about committing suicide because of bullies, that never for even a second think of giving up your life. You are strong, you are enough, you are wanted. These bullies display their insecurities, they need help. Not you. If I can do it, so can you.

Life would be RUFF without you!

Had we ever even imagined that in our entire life time we would be in a situation like the ones we are in today? Arrogant humanity always thought that among all living beings only humans can write a sensational story in the world! But here’s a nano organism called corona-virus – proved the opposite of this!  But the fact is that the mind is more powerful than the body and it’s all a matter of acceptance! We all panicked first when the lock-down was first imposed, and, now we are adopting to this new lifestyle which has come to be known and the “new normal”.

In India, the lock-down was imposed on the 24th of March 2020 for 21 days initially.  My first few days went in utter panic as to how am I going to stay at home alone with Junior. I also feared Junior’s walks and well-being for staying locked in for 21 days. But as days passed by, the fear subsided and I started to accept the realty and make adjustments to living the new lifestyle. Junior, I must say, has been such a patient dog that he too adjusted to the new normal. As such, Dogs have a keen sixth sense and usually know when they should behave how. I read quite a few articles where some people adopted dogs during the lock-down to give them company; on the other hand I also hear stories about some people who chose to abandon their dogs as they either feared contracting the virus or just didn’t have enough money left to support the dog due to going out of work. Now, after 3 months and with some relaxations in place for the lock-down, I am reading that many who adopted dogs during lock-down are giving them up for adoption again. It is said Catastrophe reveals character, and those who are treating dogs as toys are in my opinion not worth being called humans.

I am a dog mom and under no circumstances I would ever abandon my dogs. Whether I have to get married, leave the country, the pandemic, any natural disaster, lack of money, etc. My dog is my baby and just because he is an animal, does not make his importance any less.  During these though times, I have tried to make Junior’s life as comfortable as I could. I agree it wasn’t easy, but, if you have the will, you will find the way. In these 3 months, I did have my ups and downs; I too got depressed and anxious for some reason or the other.  But I never let that affect Junior.

We lost a young and talented movie actor to suicide around 2 weeks ago. The whole country is mourning his death; Infact, many young kids who were his die-hard fans also committed suicide as they grieved over this news. There are a lot of speculations to why he took such a drastic step; some say he was in depression due to work, some say he had family issues. While the truth has gone to the grave with him, his demise has raised many questions about people suffering from depression. The reason I mention this is because, he had a dog too named Fudge; A very cute and adorable Labrador. It makes me wonder; didn’t he think of his dog before taking his life? Where was his dog when this happened? My mom always says, when a person wants to take his own life, it is just a matter of seconds, and if in those seconds someone calls or talks to them or diverts their mind, this can be averted. I can say this is 100% true. I remember the time when I was ready to commit suicide and just in the nick of time, Casper jumped on me and started licking my tears. That was the first and last time I had ever thought of taking my life. After that incident, I pledged to work on myself and my life, especially for my dogs. Had it not been for Casper, I wouldn’t be here right now writing this. There are many people who have come forward to adopt the late actor’s dog. I hope he finds a wonderful house, and, I also hope people understand that a dog is for life, not just for a global pandemic.

Are dogs really good for you? Let me share my views on this based on my personal experience:

  • Dogs are just not cuddle partners. In fact, they bring real health benefits. They help lower stress levels not only in adults but also in children. Dogs have also been linked to lower blood pressure.
  • Despite of gyms being shut and the inability to go out for walks, I have been physically active because of my dog. I literally have the best buddy to work from home, who gives me continues breaks by tapping on me so that I get up from my chair and give him a treat or give him belly rubs.
  • Dogs keep you mentally sane – Due to Junior, there has never been a dull or boring moment in all these days
  • Dogs are very alert and Junior is usually at the door even before the bell rings. Their sixth sense make them extremely intelligent companions
  • Dogs make you forget HATE; as such the word HATE does not exist in their dictionary
  • My dogs not only saved my life, but If I am even just sad, they cuddle me and all my sadness is driven away. Even though I feel I am taking care of my dogs, the reality is, they are taking care of me
  • I automatically become more attractive to people when I say I have a dog J hahaha true!
  • I sleep well and fearless at night; I practically need no one to talk to, because I keep talking to my dogs and they listen without judging me
  • My dog’s social media account has more followers than my personal account (rolling eyes)
  • I have made more friends in the past few years because of my dogs
  • If I am on the phone for too long, he starts growling and barking at me to hang up, sometimes it’s the best thing to end a boring phone call J
  • He is the best excuse for me to come home early as I do not like socializing a lot
  • I love my space and when some people want to hang out with me uninvited, I suddenly remember I have to take Junior for a walk J

Let’s all us pet parents agree, some way or the other we have used our dog’s excuse to get out of a boring or unwanted situation. Isn’t it? The only disadvantage of a dog is, their short lives. Apart from that, I am a very happy and content person now. And I cannot thank God enough for sending my dogs to me accidentally. This lock-down made me realize, we need very little to live happily, and if you have the company of a dog, life is still so beautiful even though there are speculations that the world in going to end. It’s really all about being content with what we have, and what we can make out of it. We can either sit and crib today speculating the tomorrow; or we can live today and have fond memories of it tomorrow. The only thing to remember is today can never be lived again, and the last thing we want is to tomorrow repent wasting our today!